Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
