Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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