i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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