Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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