I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
