she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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