i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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