Porn is love you can see.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
