dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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