Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
