My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
wow bdsm is so cute
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