I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How does one acquire holy water?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
