just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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