Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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