I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
is it fun? or sober?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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