Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
