Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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