Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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