No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
