We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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