The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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