why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
