This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
