I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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