i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
