You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
