well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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