You can't special order awesome
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
