Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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