i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
