Don't you send me to vm
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
