we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
