so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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