Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize