Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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