Sponge bath it is.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
