My girlfriend figured out who you are.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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