I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
