I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I AM VODKA MAN
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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