forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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