he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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