That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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