he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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