Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
