Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize