I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Alive.
So much puke
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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