They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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