you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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