Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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