Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
