We're like a lot better than the average bears
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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