I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
