he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
