Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We need a shit load of segways right now
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
