I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is Oprah even human
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
