Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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