do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
