dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
