youre lurking in front of me
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
