it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
sarcasm needs its own font
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
