laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
