Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
