We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
