Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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